Quotable Jovan

"It's all gravy, baby.  Don't trip, potato chip."

-F. Mejia

Fo Yo Ear!

Yes, please.

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points

Hoops Sports Bar and Grill

If you’ve heard of and enjoy these “athletic competitions”, you need to head to AAA-adjacent Hoops, which took the chick who won Flavor of Love and turned her into just about the most TV-laden sports paradise in history, complete with overhead lights boasting badass basketball court attachments dangling below them, booth/high-top seating galore, and hot bartenders who’re either supplied with ref jerseys, or can also get you a sick employee discount at Foot Locker. 

Guys Night Out

So my work day comes to an end and I am going through the usual branch-out texting to find which one of my friends has plans and how/if I fit into them.  I've already gone out four times this week so I don't want to do anything crazy.  So basically that rules out shots.

People at Play

Working your way up the corporate ladder can be tough, which is exactly why you should climb those much shorter metal ladders, then bulldoze the crap out of everything in sight at manual-labor wonderland People at Play:  The Heavy Equipment Experience. 

Just a breezy 3.5hr Spring road trip away in Bradenton, the SE's first construction playground lets you climb into, and, like a gangster, do what you will with all the heavy machinery your Xanax has been annoyingly urging you to not operate for years.

Yes, please.

Soooooo... Rosie Jones, eh?  Yeah.  Rosie Jones.

Quotable Jovan

Ongoing semi-delusional conversation with my boys on what minimal options the Dolphins have this season:

" Look guys, I got it.  Put Bush at QB, Jake Long at TE and Matt Moore at WR.  That should confuse our opponents.  Call it " The Wildcrap"

Thanks Peter.

Yes, please.

It's all about the animals.  Sasha Grey does it for the animals.  Thank god for animals.

Oh Mother...

Dialogue as I’m leaving my mothers house after a quick visit: 

I see her standing on a stool trying to reach for something on top of a shelf. Concerned for her safety, I interrupt: 

 "Mom, don’t you have a small stepping ladder somewhere?" 
Mom: "Yeah, it’s around somewhere but I don’t know exactly where." 
Me: "You should find it, standing on that stool is dangerous." 
Mom: "So was giving birth to you but I went through it anyway, didn't I?" 

:: Exit Jovan ::

Quotable Jovan

" I might take a break from drinking tonight.  I need a sober day to establish when my weekend starts. "

Yes, please.

That awkward moment on a date when you get asked: "How come you're single, you  haven't found the right one?  What's your type?" and you don't really know what to say so you respond "Well, I don't really have a type I just need a refreshing person that has brains and a great personali... HOLY SHIT who is that girl on TV,   I'll marry her right now!"  Brief date, but this discovery was worth it.

Ladies and gentlemen ::pause for emphasis::  My Type:

She has other music out, but I like her non-album YouTube cover stuff the best... and that Ugly Mouth song. Her pipes are crazy good, she can throw some riffs on the guitar and play piano as well.  Seriously wouldn't be able to leave my house if she were singing in it.  Move over Christina Ricci, you were bumped from my #1 spot.  You had a strong 9 year tenure.  I'll send you a formal letter in the mail.

Fo Yo Mouth!

-EATING HOUSE-
In the name of all that is edible you must grab a bite at this place.  Located off of S.W 8th street and Ponce De Leon there is a "Cafe Ponce" sign outside of this tiny establishment.  Unbeknownst to the average shmuck, this unsuspecting coffee shop animorphs into "The Eating House” after 7p.m.  The beer and wine selection is minimal, but the thought of the food at this place can make my mouth water the morning after a WAKA-Jager binge.  If you don’t know what that is and you're single, click here and you’re welcome.  Anywho, the menu  is constantly changing and there are no reservations, no substitutions and no alterations.  These people know food and you don’t.  Just sit.  Then eat.
Recommendation you ask?  Cartainly.  Two nouns: Fukin’ Amazing Chicken Waffles of Deliciousness.   On the menu it's humbly listed as "Fried Chicken".  I submitted a request to have them change the name to my colorful rendition.  Still no response.